Monday, September 30, 2013

A Few End 'o' Season Tigers Notes



 Pic Via The Freep
The regular season has ended and despite the best efforts of our Detroit Tigers to blow it, the managed to hold on and win the AL Central. Before we move onto the first round of the playoffs against our old friends in Oakland, I thought I would take a moment to review a few things from the 2013 season.

Friday, September 27, 2013

The Detroit Tigers Fan's Guide to the 2013 Miami Marlins



It's the final series of the regular season. Where has the time gone? We've all grown a bit older together this season. We've all had our moments where we freaked out. (Mine was when Leyland batted Kelly third that one time and I blacked out for two days before coming to, covered in someone else's blood.) There were laughs, tears, and beers. Now the end is near. Bring on the playoffs.

The final three games are against the woeful Miami Marlins. Here's your final team preview of the 2013 season.

Thursday, September 26, 2013

AL Central Champs: Still Work To Do

Pic via Matthew Mowery

With a 1-0 victory over the Twins, the Tigers clinched their third straight AL Central title Wednesday night. Fun was had by all. Players danced. They cheered. Leyland cried. Little Victor dumped non-alcoholic champagne on Don Kelly's crotch. It was great.

But it's not enough.

Friday, September 20, 2013

A Crazy Person Says Justin Verlander Should Join the Bullpen



There was a time when I would get upset that ESPN and major sites online would seem to ignore the Tigers and only focus their attention on the Yankees and Red Sox. I’m beginning to miss those days.

Multiple people sent me a link to this column. It’s yet another piece at Yahoo.

But first, I want to say something about the article I ripped on in yesterday’s piece. The author emailed me and explained that it was actually written three weeks ago. Yahoo, for whatever reason, chose to publish it now. That does make a bit of difference in the matter. And I want to thank Grant for having a sense of humor about the whole thing. No one should ever take me too seriously.

So calling it the worst piece I’ve ever read on the Tigers? I take that back. Especially after tonight.

Because this ridiculous column about sending Justin Verlander to bullpen…it trumps anything else I’ve read in stupidity by a mile.

Wednesday, September 18, 2013

Yahoo on Yahoo Says Dumb Things About the Tigers



Hey, everyone! Who wants to read the stupidest thing ever written about the Tigers?

Yeah, I didn’t either. I, for one, have been enjoying Bill Simonson ignoring the Tigers for the past month and not reading the ignorant ramblings of a madman. But Phil Coke’s Brain just HAD to send me a link to an article on Yahoo. It’s about how the Tigers should put Miguel Cabrera on the DL just to see what the rest of the team is made of. If that sounds silly to you, believe me, it’s even worse than it sounds. The fact that "Tigers" is spelled wrong in the headline probably should have been a clue. Thanks to Melissa Heyboer for pointing that out. Read it here, if you want.

Or, just continue on here, as I go through it piece by piece using the eff-word a lot.

Monday, September 16, 2013

Joey Makes Some New Friends



JOEY’S MOM: Hey, kiddo. Great win for you guys today. You did such a great job pitching. I’m so proud of you.
JOEY: Thanks, Mom. I had a lot of fun. Too bad we didn’t score earlier. I’m glad we won, but I didn’t get the win for us. Oh well. Can we go get ice cream? The other guys are going with their parents.

JOEY’S MOM: Of course, honey. Hop in the car and we’ll go meet them…wait. Who’s that man standing at our car?

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Detroit Tiger Droppings: September '13 Edition



As I mentioned last week, I’m quite busy at work this time of year and don’t have as much time as I’d like to devote to writing doodie jokes about baseball. I’m not a big fan of articles with random thoughts thrown around, but it’s better than nothing, right?

Here are a few things rattling around my empty noggin as we head into the final weeks of the season. I apologize in advance if I come off as cranky. Because I am. And I got stung by a bee today. That didn't help things.

Thursday, September 5, 2013

The Worrying



I’m far from a perfect person, but everything that is good in me comes from my mom. The woman is as close to a saint as it gets. I can’t imagine what she ever did to deserve a psychopath like me as a son. But the one negative trait that I inherited from her is how I worry about things constantly. What if THIS happens? But what if THAT comes to be? It’s maddening. I can’t stop. And I know it came from her, as every time I speak to her she’s seemingly looking for doom around every corner. I sometimes suspect she spends an hour each day wondering if the sun will rise tomorrow.

WHAT IF WE HAVE TO LIVE IN THE DARK AND BECOME MOLE PEOPLE???

/jumps out window

And this constant worrying I do is increasing as the baseball season winds down. A 20-4 drubbing by the Red Sox on Wednesday night didn’t help things. The following are a few things I’m terrified about as it relates to the Tigers down the stretch and into the playoffs. Let me know if I’m way off base here.

Monday, September 2, 2013

Detroit Tigers by the (Uniform) Numbers



A couple weeks ago, I posted a stupid test to see if you are a “good Tigers fan”, whatever that’s supposed to mean. The thing that surprised me the most about the responses to it were how many people didn’t know the uniform numbers of Kaline, Greenberg, Gehringer, Whitaker, and Trammell. I just assumed this knowledge was immediately known to everyone once they decided on their fandom to the Tigers. It should be, anyway.

Today, those of you numerically uninformed folks are going to get a lesson. I’m going to cover the best players to wear each number, other famous guys to wear them, and my personal favorite for each number. Considering how I tend to enjoy weird players, this may be entertaining for a few of you.

Take notes in case there’s another exam in the future.

Also, some guys wore multiple numbers during their careers (especially in the early days). I’ve included them only under their most famous and/or current numbers.