So yeah, I attended this afternoon’s ALDS Game Three at Comerica Park. Obviously, that didn’t turn out like any of us wanted it to. You can go anywhere for analysis or opinion on what happened, but I’m not going to do that.
We’re all stressed. We’re all annoyed. Instead of more useless commentary, I thought I’d give you something else useless, but hopefully mildly entertaining.
The following were a few snippets from conversations around me at the park today.
(A’s have a runner on second. Ball grounded to Cabrera.)
GUY BEHIND ME: Turn two, Miggy!
(Cabrera throws runner out at first. Five seconds pass.)
GUY BEHIND ME: Come on, Annie Belle! Get em, Annie Belle!
ME: (turning around) Dude, it’s On-ee-ball.
GUY BEHIND ME: Oh. Come on, Annie Belle!
(Jed Lowrie steps to the plate.)
GUY TO MY LEFT: Go back to Oakland, Jed! Where’s Granny, Jed? Hahahaha…
ME: I hate our fanbase so much. So much.
GUY TWO SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Make fun of me all you want, man. Yeah, I have an Inge jersey. So what?
GUY THREE SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Inge sucked, dude.
GUY TWO SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Bullshit. He was the best defender this team ever had. This new guy at shortstop’s pretty good, though.
GUY THREE SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Inge sucked. Does he even play anymore?
GUY TWO SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Yeah. He’s with Pittsburgh. We’ll probably see him in the World Series.
ME: Excuse me. Um, the Pirates cut Inge months ago, man. He caught on with Toronto’s Triple A team for around a week before being released again. He’s a free agent.
GUY TWO SEATS TO MY RIGHT: Oh. Well…yeah. Loved that guy.
(Bottom of the 9th. Omar Infante at the plate.)
FANS ALL AROUND ME: Come on, Omar!
ME: Come on, Omar…wait. What the FUCK is Don Kelly doing in the on deck circle! WHAT THE FUCK? I’m gonna kill Leyland. I’m gonna fucking…(Infante is retired to end the game)…fuck it. Let’s go.
(45 minutes of muttering about Leyland using Kelly to potentially pinch hit with the game on the line.)
Today's moral is to never attend a Tigers game with me.
Get ‘em tomorrow, boys. It’s too early for the long, cold winter to begin.