Sunday, October 27, 2013

Take Me To My Leader (And Make it Manny Acta)

I wanted to weigh in on this manager search before it becomes a moot point. Or “mute point”, if you’re Rod Allen.

Jim Leyland is gone. I appreciate everything he did to change the baseball scene in Detroit after two decades of misery. If I ever saw the man on the street, I would ask to shake his hand. Thanks for the memories, Marlboro Man.

At the same time, I’m not exactly sad to see him leave. His views on bunting, bullpen usage, and Don Kelly are things that have had me frustrated beyond belief in recent years. And don’t get me going on starting Alfredo Figaro at the end of 2009 in a “must win” situation.

So who should replace him? I have my own dream qualifications in a Tigers skipper.

-A younger manager. I feel a guy in his 40’s has a better chance at relating to the modern MLB athlete than someone in his 60’s. They’re also more likely not to have the “old-school” approach on bunting, batting orders, and drinking prune juice.

-A Latino manager. With so many Spanish speaking players in Detroit, I think a bi-lingual skipper could only help in communication. I’m not exactly sure how “grumble, no-brainer, mumble” translates into Spanish.

-Someone that isn’t scared of math. Leyland openly mocked the use of computers and sabermetrics in his time in Detroit and it blew my mind that a manager would knowingly not use information that could help the team win. Just because it wasn’t a procedure used in the 1970’s doesn’t mean you shouldn’t use it today. Math can be your friend. Is it too much to ask that my team’s manager be smarter than the average bear?

So with all that in mind, I do know who I want to be the next manager of the Tigers. I also have two backup candidates in mind. And I definitely know who I do NOT want to manage the Tigers in 2014 and beyond.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013

Two of the Stupidest Things You Will Ever Read About the Tigers

I know I said I was going to take a few weeks off to take care of some personal things and recharge my batteries, but I just had to share a couple items I was unfortunate enough to read today. See if this stuff annoys you as much as it did me.

Sunday, October 20, 2013

R.I.P. 2013 Detroit Tigers (2013-2013)

It’s over. The Tigers flamed out in the most soul-crushing way possible. In Game Six, all of the 2013 Tigers non-greatest hits were on display. Bullpen meltdown. Defensive miscues. Baserunning brain farts. Questionable managerial decisions. Ridiculous umpiring calls against them.

Everything that could go wrong, did go wrong. I have just a few points before putting this season in the rear-view mirror.

Saturday, October 19, 2013

ALCS Game 6 Pregame Speech with the Worst Person in the World

(Inside visitor’s clubhouse in Boston.)
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: Hello, gentlemen. Here we are again. Our backs are against the wall and it is do or die time. Now...
MAX SCHERZER: Hey, Dave, with all due respect, we know we need to win. Skip’s got us ready. No more rah-rah speeches, okay? We're gonna go out there and do our best.

DOMBROWSKI: That's great, Max. Great. But no, I'm not here to bring in some Ghost of Tigers Past today to try and motivate you guys. The time for that is done. You all have a job to do and I trust that each and every one of you are ready to do just that. But I do want all of you to meet someone today. His name is Robbie O'Reilly. I really think you should all meet this gentleman before you take the field tonight.

Wednesday, October 16, 2013

The Band Gets Back Together to Give the ALCS Game Four Pregame Speech

DAVE DOMBROWSKI: Good evening, gentlemen. If I could have your attention, please, I’d appreciate it. You all know that tonight is the biggest game of the season thus far. This is as close to a “must win” as a game gets without it being an actual elimination game. Now Jim has made a statement in his own way with the lineup tonight, as you are all aware of. But just like when our backs were against the wall versus Oakland, I think you need to hear a speech to magnify the intensity of the situation. Unfortunately, Kirk Gibson is not available at this time. Here, let me read his text so I get this right.

(pulls out phone)

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

The Huge Reaction: ALCS Edition

The messiah of the clinically braindead, Bill Simonson, is back talking Tigers after a one week break from him. Aren’t we the lucky ones?

Last time we heard from Creepy Uncle Huge, he told us how the Tigers were too intense in their celebration of winning the AL Central, they needed two complete games in the ALDS to advance, and that he was initially against Jhonny Peralta being on the playoff roster.

What did his thimble-sized brain crank out this week? There’s only one way to find out.

Monday, October 14, 2013

How To Blow a Playoff Game in Eleven Easy Steps

Prince Fielder Sucks at Defense pic via The Detroit News

No less than a dozen people approached me today with some sort of “What happened to the Tigers last night?” comment. By the end of my work day, I was ready to stab someone in the throat for even mentioning baseball. This is the down side to being known as the obsessed Tigers fan at the workplace.

But the question remains. What happened to the Tigers last night? Well, everything that could go wrong from the eighth inning on did go wrong. The Tigers suffered the most soul-crushing defeat I’ve ever seen, with the exception of Game 163 a couple years ago. Blame whoever you want…it doesn’t matter. What happened, happened.

And here’s what happened, through this Tigers fan’s eyes, in eleven painful steps.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

The ALDS Game Five Pregame Speech

(Inside visitor’s clubhouse in Oakland.)
DAVE DOMBROWSKI: Gentlemen, congratulations on rebounding in Game Four and getting to this point. But you all know that the ultimate goal this season is a World Series championship. We in the organization are proud of you, as is the city of Detroit. But you all will be remembered for what happens on this field tonight. We need to win this game and move on to Boston in the ALCS. Now Jim here isn’t the kind of guy that believes in pregame speeches.
JIM LEYLAND: (Grumble)Horseshit(Mumble)…

DOMBROWSKI: That’s why we’ve flown in someone who is. I want you all to feel the gravity of the situation. Please pay attention to everything he has to say. This man is a winner and has been in your shoes before. He is…

(clubhouse doors kicked open)

Monday, October 7, 2013

Four Short Scenes from Comerica Park

So yeah, I attended this afternoon’s ALDS Game Three at Comerica Park. Obviously, that didn’t turn out like any of us wanted it to. You can go anywhere for analysis or opinion on what happened, but I’m not going to do that.

We’re all stressed. We’re all annoyed. Instead of more useless commentary, I thought I’d give you something else useless, but hopefully mildly entertaining.

The following were a few snippets from conversations around me at the park today.

Sunday, October 6, 2013

Both "Good Leyland" and "Bad Leyland" on Display in the ALDS

Like many fans of the Tigers, I have a love/hate relationship with manager Jim Leyland. As I’ve said many times, I don’t think there’s a better guy in the league in running his clubhouse. His players love him and would run through a brick wall for the man. At the same time, I think many of his methods and in-game decision making ideas are outdated and foolish.

I look at how fans view Leyland in the same manner that I do people and their political beliefs.

I shake my head in disgust when a person defends a Democrat or Republican, no matter what they do, just because they belong to that party. Myself, I have personal beliefs in which some match the common description of a Liberal Democrat and others that fall in line with more of a Conservative Republican. I’m a firm believer in “shades of grey” over the stubborn “black or white” mindset.

With Leyland, I have a similar viewpoint. Some people will defend anything the guy does, no matter how illogical it may seem. Others call him a senile fool that is ruining the Tigers’ chances at a World Championship. Again, both sides are wrong. Leyland is human and not perfect. He’ll make poor choices while on the job. At the same time, he’s seen more baseball in his life than any of us likely will and has reasons for what he does.

My point is, in two games so far in this ALCS, we’ve seen both “Good Leyland” in Game One and “Bad Leyland” in Game Two. Regardless of what decisions Leyland makes, the Tigers aren’t going to win if they don’t start scoring runs. But Leyland plays a part in that, too. He needs to give his team its best chance of winning. I don’t think he did that in Game Two as well as he did in Game One.

Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Huge Moron Says Tigers Need 6+ Complete Games to Survive Playoffs

We almost made it two glorious months without the biggest dunce on the planet that writes about the Detroit Tigers publishing one of his poorly thought out piles of trash on the team. But alas, it couldn’t go on forever.

Yes, HE’S BACK. Huge is here to enlighten us all with his thoughts on the upcoming ALDS series between Oakland and Detroit. And as the undisputed voice of reason in the online world of Tigers baseball, it is my sworn duty to combat Huge Ignorance when it rears its ugly head.

Everyone take a deep breath. And here we go…

Tuesday, October 1, 2013

Your 2013 Tigers/Athletics ALDS Preview

This Friday, October 4th, at 9:37 pm (because eff you, America), the Moneyball A’s and the $$$ball Tigers will face off in Game One of the ALDS. Since TigerSnark is the most trusted Detroit Tigers website in the known universe, I know you have come here for the most comprehensive breakdown of this series possible.

Or something. I will try not to disappoint.