Wednesday, May 15, 2013

Tigers 6, Astros 2: A Night at the Park

I attended my first game of this season tonight, a contest in which the Tigers beat the Astros 6-2. Above is the view from my seat. Not bad for $25. If you want a proper recap of the game, I suggest checking out the always fantastic job done by Al Beaton at BYB right here. That's not what this is about.

No, I thought I'd share with you some personal highlights from live in the stadium tonight that I found amusing. I'll conclude with a list of annoying people I saw at the park tonight that I talked about in my previous post. Who was there???

Read on to find out!

Highlights and/or observations from my evening:

*I never realized how skinny Doug Fister was before seeing him today. I'm almost positive I've seen him pitch in person before, but today I was struck by how frail he looked up close. I'm worried about him. Someone let him at the team's pregame spread before Prince inhales it all up for a change.

*On the contrary, Miguel Cabrera is in the best shape I've ever seen him in. Dude looks amazing. Okay, enough of the checking out other dudes' bodies...

*The people a few rows up from me had a sign. I mentioned it on Twitter and several people didn't believe me. Apparently, the folks up there either follow me or got word and proudly sent me a pic.
See? I wouldn't lie to you guys. I'm not on the anti-Berry crusade that many of you are on. I'm on record saying I'd like him on the team as a pinch runner late in games instead of Don Kelly's waste of a roster spot. But Quintin's hitting only .185 while pouting down at Toledo. What do you want him free from? His contract? Because that's what's going to happen if the guy doesn't start hitting above Ramon Santiago's weight and proving he deserves a spot up north.

*During the pregame introductions, the loudest cheers were, of course, for Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder. Who received the next loudest cheers after them? Don Kelly. So don't believe those writers out there that keep saying fans don't like Donnie. SO SCRAPPY!

*A representative of the Tigers (that I won't mention because I'm terrified of getting him into trouble for associating with riff raff such as myself) made sure to come and sit next to me during Kelly's first at bat. I don't get why he felt the need to do such a thing...

Anyway, it's always a pleasure to see you and talk baseball with you, sir. You're the best and I'm thrilled that my favorite baseball team employs great people like yourself.

*In case there was any doubt, Justin Verlander's shirsey is now the easy choice as the go-to outfit for slutty Tiger fans without a father in their lives. The Boesch and Porcello shirseys don't stand a chance anymore. JV has the market cornered. I applaud him.

*They're selling autographed jerseys at the game now. My phone died or I would have taken a picture of some of them. A Quintin Berry one is $150. They had Boesch, Raburn, and Inge ones marked half off. I came *this* close to purchasing a Raburn one because I'm weird, but luckily I'm not completely insane.

*Rogodamus Moment #1: Cabrera was leading off in the sixth. I predicted to my buddy that he'd walk and Prince would follow with a double. Miggy doubled and Prince walked. My vision was true, I just had the guys mixed up. I would get better as the night went on.

*Rogodamus Moment #2: Dirks stupidly bunted and was thrown out at first. After completing my normal bunt facepalm, I did my best Rod Allen impression and muttered "Not a bad idea."
Yup. Never change, Rod.

*Rogodamus Moment #3: Houston brought in Hector Ambriz to face Miggy and I said to my friend, "This guy is awful. Miggy's putting this one into the bleachers." Of course, Cabrera homered on the next pitch. I'm not THE God, but I may be a God. I'll get back to you when I figure it out.

*I stood and clapped when Jose Valverde ran in from the bullpen because I'm not a horrible person. At least half the stadium was booing him. I loathe you people.

*Avisail Garcia's swing appeared to be really slow tonight up close. It may have been the beer, though.

*They have a new feature on the jumbotron this year. They survey Tigers players and ask them a question about their teammates and a fan tries to guess the answer. Tonight, they asked which Tiger has the best singing voice. The choices were Cabrera, Fielder, and Dotel. The girl chose Fielder and then they showed snippets of several Tigers giving their answers. The best was Phil Coke saying Dotel has the best voice as long as he doesn't try to sing in English. Well, Dotel was the answer and then they played a clip of him singing a song in Spanish. It got the loudest cheers of the night, I think. Then, even though she guessed wrong, they still gave the girl at Tigers hat. I think they should have had Paws punch her in the face. This is why I'm not in charge of anything.

*Finally, here's the complete list of annoying folks I saw that I mentioned in the previous post.

-Eat 'Em Up Tigers Guy. He's becoming a celebrity. People were lined up taking pictures with him. Guy really seemed to enjoy it.

-Charlie the Singing Hot Dog Vendor. He's such a nice guy. But I want to beat him to death with a tire iron sometimes.

-The annoying scalper pricks outside the park. Of course.

-Pink jersey girl. No cold sore, though. I was impressed.

-The morons that thought every fly ball was going to be a homer. So embarrassing.

-Late to arrive/early to leave: They were next to me! This group of three guys didn't show up until the third inning. They left after the seventh. You people are the worst.

-People blocking the aisle. Also, ones I forgot yesterday, the people in the concourse just standing in the middle staring into space and making it difficult for us folks that are trying to walk in an orderly fashion.

-I thought I had been to my first game in over a decade without seeing someone in an Inge jersey. But walking to the car after the game, the guy in front of me had his Inge home whites on. I considered tossing his body onto I-75, but didn't because I'm such a NICE PERSON.

-Of course, Don Kelly was there.

The best part of the game? NO ONE TRIED STARTING THE WAVE! It was glorious. Bless you kind and decent folks that were seated near me.

Overall, it was a great night out. I urge you all to get to the CoPa if you haven't had a chance yet this year, especially on a weekday. Less nutjobs in the stands.


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