Monday, May 27, 2013

Brandon Inge Returns Home

GENE LAMONT: Word is, he’s on his way here now. Just thought you should know.
JIM LEYLAND: (grumble) (mumble) Just great. (mumble) (spits food)

LAMONT: Well, good luck with this. I’m gonna go take my pregame nap and…

/clubhouse door explodes open

BRANDON INGE: Hey, everyone! I’m back! Boy, howdy, it’s GREAT to be back in the D! Hey, Skipper! Gimmie a hug!

LEYLAND: (grumble) Hey (mumble) tickled to see you (grumble).

INGE: Haha, same ‘ol Skip! Hey, you fellas are off to a good start this year. But I bet you miss havin’ me around, don’t ya Skip?

LEYLAND: Well, (grumble) (mumble) (mumble) (grumble).

INGE: You said it. I know I struggled at the end, but I know in my heart I brought stuff to the table that no one else could. Like my ability to play anywhere. And the special relationship we had together, Skip.
DON KELLY: Hey, Skip. I’m feeling good today. I’ll play anywhere you need me to. And here’s an extra coffee I had. Black…just the way you like it. Seeya on the field.

LAMONT: Well, Brandon, you guys in Pittsburgh are having a nice year, too. Saw you in that Penguins jersey. You getting used to a new city okay?
INGE: Sure am, Assistant Skipper. I’m just trying to fit in with the community. I bet you guys miss having me around for the charities and stuff like…
TORII HUNTER: Hey, guys. Just got back from speaking at another junior high school. Sent a check to Oklahoma relief for that homer I hit over the weekend. Now I’m off to the field to play catch with another Make-A-Wish kid. Man, I love this city. Hey, Brandon. Nice seeing you. Later, guys!

LAMONT: Man, the Pirates got you playing everywhere, Brandon. You still bringing the leather out there?
INGE: I sure am. It’s a shame I didn’t get a longer look at second base here. With Ryan struggling at second, I think my glove really could have stabilized the position and…
OMAR INFANTE: Hola, guys. Hey, Brandon. Welcome back to Detroit, amigo. Seeya out there.

LAMONT: Well, this has been fun. Right, Jim?

LEYLAND: (mumble) (grumble) No brainer (mumble).

INGE: Yeah. Um. I…I gotta go.

(One hour later)
ANDREW MCCUTCHEN: Hey, man. Is something wrong with Inge?
NEIL WALKER: Oh. My brother-in-law says he gets like this sometimes. Hey, Brandon! You okay, man?
INGE: I am Salem, minister of sorrow. Drowning in a sea of my own misery. Detroit has forsaken me. And now I have forsaken myself. Hear my prayer, Dark Lord of Sadness.

WALKER: Cool. Seeya on the field.

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