Wednesday, April 24, 2013

A Journey Into the Comments Section: They Are Among Us



As you may have noticed, from time to time I enjoy mocking writers that I don’t agree with. But nothing in the world gets as horrific as some of the nonsense you’ll find if you venture into the comments sections following articles on mLive, the Detroit News, and the other bigger Tigers news sites.

Don’t get me wrong. If someone shares a different opinion than I do, I don’t automatically think they are a moron. Not as long as they form an opinion that has some sort of logic and/or a point to it. I’m not always right and I don’t have all the answers. Only BYB’s TigerDog does. Sadly, only one in a hundred of these commenters seem to try and made actual sense out there.

Today, I thought I’d take a look at some of the comments posted to articles written this week by a couple writers I enjoy. And as you read them, remember, these people walk among us. It’s frightening. Names will be withheld to protect the galactically stupid.

First up is Chris Iott’s piece on Jose Valverde returning to the team. Personally, I have no problem with this. It’s not going to cost the team much, as far as salary goes. Al Avila, Al Kaline, and Tiger scouts all say he’s throwing the ball great. You have to assume they wouldn't add him to the roster if he was still throwing nothing but BP fastballs out there. And our bullpen currently sucks. So give Papa Grande a shot. In his time in Detroit, he has saved 110 out of 118 games. Then he looked like hell and had a couple bad innings at the end of last year and everyone decided he’s finished for good. Yup. No doubt. BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

The boobird people are the worst. For the “best fans in baseball”, Tiger fans sure love to boo their own players and shit all over their manager every chance they get. Give the guy a shot. If he can’t get the job done, better to find out in April and go from there than have it bite us later before there’s time to fix the problem.

Let’s see what the Mr. Wizards of mLive had to say about this.

Did anyone really think Coke could pitch 2 scoreless inning against the Angels without giving up a dinger except Leyland.

He did pitch two scoreless innings. It was when he was sent back out for a third against Mark Trumbo that the home run happened. There was no one left in the bullpen at that point that was available to pitch thanks to Porcello’s quick exit the day before. So go to hell.

Any one think Verlander is pissed in the fact Leyland rest his best players when he's pitching. Verlander's a good pitcher but he can't over come zero run production with that weak ass line-up Leyland gives him when he pitches. Santiago>Ruth

Well, he got all the starters on Opening Day and won. Avila and Peralta got rested the next start when CC Sabathia was untouchable. I doubt Alex (1 for 7) and Jhonny (1 for 17) were going to turn the tide there, especially with their dismal histories against CC. Avila got a rest in the third one and the team scored seven runs against one of the best young pitchers in the AL in Brett Anderson. And in his final start so far, the team got shut out again by a hot pitcher that had an ERA of 1.69 so far with only the 37 year old Hunter getting a rest. Santiago has started in only one of JV’s four starts. What I’m trying to say, is go fist yourself. Most players don’t start 162 games a year and you can’t win every game. And the team's best players are Cabrera, Fielder, and Jackson. None have been rested in Verlander's starts, as you accused Leyland of doing.

Leyland in Indian means: Brain sludge from smoking to many non-filtered Camel's. also see: Dimentia.

Haha…JOKES! I get jokes. Also, it’s "too" and “dementia”, you illiterate dipshit.

Santiago, couldn't hit a red headed step child.

This doesn’t even make sense. Are all red headed stepchildren bad pitchers? Is Phil Coke a stepchild?

Note: All of these so far have been by the same person that just kept replying and replying to Chris’ article. I only included a couple. There are several as he apparently kept deciding to add brilliant insight after insight. He’s a real gem. Let’s find someone else.

We got rid of Inge, Rayburn, and almost Kelly. And replaced them with Tuiososopa, Santiago, and Kelly.

1. This is an article about Valverde’s return. Please stay on topic with your comments.

2. "Tuiososopa" does not exist. Sounds like a pudding flavor.

3. It’s “RABURN”, you moron.

4. Santiago was already on the team and didn’t replace anyone.

5. You can’t replace someone with themself. Especially if you only “almost” were rid of them.

6. Walk in front of a moving train.

First game on the road trip which was one we might have won he puts both Kelly and Santiago in the lineup. Two 100 hitters for two 400 hitters.....seemed reasonable to me, NOT!!!!!

Look, I agree that Don Kelly shouldn’t be in the major leagues. But the quicker everyone realizes that the soon-to-be 38 year old Torii Hunter is not going to play every game, the better. He only started 128 games in the field for the Angels last year (and 19 at DH). Get used to it. As for the other player in the game the commenter is referencing, it’s Omar Infante. Anyone that thinks Infante is a “400 hitter” for a period of time for longer than a week must have brain damage. Again, Infante is another guy we can expect to start 120-130 games. He’s never been a full time guy. WAKE UP. And have a nice day.
Hohohohoho…

Verlander might be wearing 2 WS rings if not for Leyland.

Please get AIDS. Leyland isn’t the one that forgot how to hit or field in the World Series. Good lord…

Okay, enough of that one, though dozens more have commented since I began writing this. Check it out, if you dare. To be fair, a few folks there have level heads. Well done, mLive exceptions. Up next is Kurt Mensching’s piece at the Detroit News where he wisely foreshadowed the promotions of Rondon and Valverde and dared to warn folks not to panic early in the season. How did readers react to that? Take a guess.

Avila cannot hit, he was a 1 year wonder in 2011. He reverted back to his old form last year and shows no sign of getting better where hitting is concerned. Right now Pena is the better option to start.

Wait…Brayan Pena, right? Or did the team sign a Pena that isn’t an abortion at the plate? Here’s another reality check for those out that that have never seen baseball before two weeks ago. EVERY PLAYER IS NOT A .330 HITTING ALL STAR. Avila is a good catcher that handles this staff very well and occasionally supplies some pop at the plate. He’s also the most patient hitter on the team outside of maybe Fielder and Cabrera. He makes the opposing pitchers work. Alex has put up a WAR of 5.2 and 2.5 in his two years as a starter including starting the effing All Star game two years ago. Pena is a career backup who over nine seasons has a career WAR of 0.1. ZERO POINT ONE. Please find a new baseball team and stop “supporting” mine.

Another note: This clown’s Avila/Pena comment has eleven “likes” from people. For all of you reasonable, knowledgeable folks that read this blog, one, thank you. You’re the best. Two, the next Tigers game you go to, please murder at least ten other fans. Odds are, we’ll start weeding these idiots out.

I don`t know. What I do know, Kurt, is that you need a new photo of yourself. It looks like you`re giving the poor cashier at Seven Eleven a nasty look for unknowingly selling you a cup of bad coffee.

A common theme in the comments sections to Kurt’s articles is people bitching about his picture. What they don’t know is the photo chosen by the News was the correct choice. The only other one available was this one.
Again, they made the right choice.

I was under the impression that this team was no brainer pick to win the divison, and the world series? What happened Lucy? It's looking like the mediocrity makeup of this team is catching up to them already.

Lucy? That’s MISTER Lucy to you, pal. I think most rational fans would be thrilled with a so-called mediocre makeup of guys like Verlander, Scherzer, Fister, Sanchez, Cabrera, Jackson, Fielder, Hunter, and Martinez. Here’s another news flash. IT’S BEEN ONLY 18 GAMES! The Tigers are at .500. Other teams at .500 or worse are the Rays, Blue Jays, White Sox, Angels, and Dodgers. The Nationals are 10-9. Do you think that ALL of these talented teams are finished? Well, you might because you’re a putz.

Time to take a long look at the manager, better personnel than last year and the same old story.

Well, last year’s story saw the Tigers go to the World Series. I liked that story. I am hoping for a happier ending, though. Oh, right. Leyland made everyone slump at the plate against the Giants. I keep forgetting that. #FireLeyland

This next one is long, but it’s a doozy.

The problem is that DD has built a softball team. Free swingers

Only five teams in the AL have struck out less than the Tigers. Also, they are sixth in walks.

that at times can score a lot of runs and no defense.

Only Boston has fewer errors than Detroit so far.

Yes Hunter, Jackson, Infante, Avril
Avril?

can play defense, but as we saw this weekend Peralta still has no range, no arm, can't hit no matter how much weight he has lost.

.296 average so far with a .333 OBP.

He has almost struck out 50% of the time he bats

Actually, he has 18 K’s in 76 plate appearances (23.7%).

and can not get to any ball more then 3 feet to his left or right. Dirks is not a good defender

He is perfectly fine and a drastic improvement over Delmon Young and/or Brennan Boesch.

and is not hitting.

It’s April, he’s only had 54 plate appearances, and he hit .322/.370/.487 last year. If there's a better MLB ready option, please let me know.

The ball pen

LOL...

overall is not good, already has cost us some games. V Mart would normally get a pass except for the fact that he was off a year, and had major surgery and it looks like he is over matched alot of the time.

You spelled “unlucky” wrong. And a lot of other words. There will be many more.

It might just be that the game has passed him by, and I am sorry to say that as I like him alot.
The starting rotation is great except for Porcello, who belongs on a team with great infield defense, but DD has overvalued him and wants more then what he is worth. The SP will always be good and that is not the problem. Kelly belongs out of the MLB along with Santiago, but Leyland has man love for both.

(Note to readers: Don’t ever Google “man love” in an attempt to find a funny picture.)

Their is no reason to panick as the team is what it is. Right now if everything corrects itself they are still not good enough to win it all.

Someone give THIS guy a column. He’s actually much more entertaining than Simonson, now that I think about it.

DD has to make some moves to improve the team- They need a SS with a glove and range. Any hitting hi gives us is a bonus. They need a hitter and glove in LF they have Garcia, but he would be better served playing eveyday in the minors for a couple of months. They need to understand that they have some tremendous catching talent in the minors that is ready for the majors

Name one! I fucking dare you!

and use Avril
Avril?

as part of a package to get a SS or a closer or a LF.

Like who, genius? If “Avril” is as bad as you say he is, who are you going to get? I HATE OUR FANBASE SO MUCH.

V-Mart is a different issue. Get a hitter for LF and you can move him down in the order for another month and see if he can get back to where he was before his injury. It might not take a month for it to prove out that the game has passed him. You can not have 5 through 8 in the order batting under.240,

We don’t. Also, it’s fucking April.

( Please do not point out that Peralta is hitting.300. It is a statistical anominally

A what?

and is striking out 50% of the time

No he’s not. And why is it okay to toss aside Jhonny's somewhat early success, yet not do the same with Dirks' early struggles?

and lets not talk about his hitting into DP's with runners in scoring position.)

Jhonny’s hit into two double plays so far. The only starter that hasn’t hit into one yet is Dirks who you think should be shot.

and expect ot be consistant offensively. Yes if you look they are near the top in offense, but those numbers do not speak of consistancy.

It speaks that they have a pretty good offensive team. They just struggled on a long West Coast trip like they always do. Every team ever has had slumps. But by all means, trade everyone in April because that makes sense.

DD better get it through his head that he needs to make changes and not make trades for players like Street he is no the answer, nor is trying out over the hill relief pitchers that could not get a contract from any other ball club in the MLB, not even Houston wanted him.
Sir, what you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.

Okay, just a couple more and we'll wrap this up.

had they done the SMART thing BEFORE the season and traded for a competent closer, NONE of this would be happening.

Yes. If they had acquired this mythical closer that wasn’t actually available, the team would have scored more runs in Anaheim. Excuse me while I go bang my head against the fucking wall for a while as I try and digest how stupid you are.

here's one of my frustrations with the Tigers/Dombrowski(mostly Dombrowski), while I think he's a pretty good GM, I think he doesn't do enough. They've known for 2+yrs theyve needed a 2nd baseman, and they keep putting these stop gaps in to the position, and just refuse to go out and sign or trade for one. So now, the position is weak, as it has been since they chose to not re-sign Polanco.

Yeah. Piss off, Omar Infante, with your occasional brilliant defense and solid bat.

Porcello to the Indians for Perez would be good, with Smyly moving up to the Rotation. Dotel and Villareal should be moved in favor of Ortega and Rondon. Rondon could emerge as a setup guy for Perez. Dirks and Martinez should be provided another 2-3 weeks to start hitting. If not, they could be included in some July moves. Todd Helton would be an upgrade as the DH, and Tyler Collins could be the long range answer in the OF.

I would hang myself if the team traded Porcello for Chris Perez. Also, shut the hell up about Tyler Collins. Kid had a nice spring. So did Don Kelly and Ryan Raburn in Cleveland. Let the Collins kid develop a bit before we move him ahead of Garcia and Castellanos on the depth chart and start building him a statue.

And Todd Helton? The guy that had a WAR of 0.1 and 0.2 in two of the past three years? Why didn’t I think of that? Plus, look how handsome he is from his offseason mug shot:
I would then move Porcello to the pen and use him just like Smly, for 2-3 inning stints, once or twice per week. I would recall Shawn Hill to be my 5th starter.

I assume you mean Drew Smyly. I believe Smly was Captain Hook’s first mate. And if you’re yanking Porcello from the rotation, where are you putting Drew? Shortstop? And Shawn Hill? Oh my gawd.

I’m done. I can’t handle any more. I think I’ve made my point. THEY ARE AMONG US.

And if you see your comment somewhere above or you like what these folks have to say, please never read this site again. Please go away. Do not pass Go. Do not collect $200.

And start rooting for the Red Sox. You’ll fit right in with those rocket scientist fans of theirs.

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