PERALTA: This is my lucky day! Nom, nom, nom...
/20 minutes later
PERALTA: Uuuugh...something wrong. I gonna puke...who do this to me?
LYNN HENNING: Bwaaaa, hahahahahahahaha! Take THAT, Piggy! Piggy piggy, fatty fat! Hohohohoho! Yes, my plans are ALL coming together! Danny Worth will be our shortstop if it's the LAST THING I DO! Ah, hahahahahahaha! Phase One is complete. Still, I need to eliminate this Kobernus ruffian so that buff stud Donnie Kelly can make the club. But FIRST, there's the Porcello problem to deal with. I must make sure he doesn't make Opening Day. I will not be wrong again! Perhaps...yes...perhaps I will cut the ends off of his condoms. We'll see how Mister Fun Time likes it when he...
RICK PORCELLO: Hey, man. Did you say my name? And what are, um, con-drums?
HENNING: (snaps fingers) DRAT! Say, Fredrick. Do you have any food allergies?
PORCELLO: Don't think so, dude.
HENNING: Hmm. This will be more difficult than I imagined.
PORCELLO: You're weird, old guy.
HENNING: We'll see who's WEIRD, my young friend. Just give me time. Yeeeeees...just give me time.
PORCELLO: Cool. Seeya.
HENNING: Sooner than you think. BAH, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!