Wednesday, March 13, 2013

And Then There Was One

The Tigers released walking abortion of an outfielder Brennan Boesch today. With this move, overweight Detroit girls possessing low self esteem and even lower personal values will, no doubt, be weeping into their two-sizes-too-small Bren-Bren shirseys well into the night. Oh, happy day.

Your updated list of Tigers that Your Party Host would like to see thrown off of a mountain has been updated:

Nate Robertson
Juan Rincon
Dane Sardinha
Clete Thomas
David Purcey
Will Rhymes
Brad Thomas
Alfredo Figaro
Brad Penny
Brandon Inge
Don Kelly
Gerald Laird
Daniel Schlereth
Delmon Young
Brennan Boesch

OMG! Only one to go, kids. We are SO CLOSE to having a team that doesn’t have a guy I can’t stand. I never thought I’d live to see this day. We can do this, everyone! What a great time to be alive.

Well, unless Quintin Berry somehow makes the team, pisses me off one more time and makes the list…BUT SO CLOSE! Take Donnie to the vet and have him put down, Dombrowski! Make my dream come true!

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