Writing about Ryan Raburn the other day got me thinking about something. Looking back at the twenty years or so (yikes) that I’ve been going to games, I tried to remember if I’ve ever booed anyone. The only time I can come up with was two years ago on Opening Day. I was with a group of people and they were doing the player introductions. When they announced Don Kelly, everyone I was with looked at me because they’re horrible people. So I jokingly began booing. That’s it. I just find the whole idea of booing your own team’s players ridiculous and detestable. I could never be a Philadelphia sports fan, I guess.
Go look in the mirror real quick, make a poo-poo face, and yell “BOOOOOO”. Looks stupid, doesn’t it? Where did it even come from? According to the communists at Wikipedia:
Booing performers has a very long history, The first written record comes from ancient Greece. At the annual Festival of Dionysia in Athens, playwrights competed to determine whose tragedy was the best. When the democratic reformer Cleisthenes came to power in the 6th century B.C., audience participation came to be regarded as a civic duty. The audience applauded to show its approval and shouted and whistled to show displeasure. In ancient Rome, jeering was common at the gladiatorial games, where audience participation often determined whether a competitor lived or died.
While people have expressed displeasure publicly since ancient times, the English word boo was first used in the early 19th century to describe the lowing sound that cattle make. Later in the 19th century, the word came to be used to describe the disapproving cry of crowds.
You people that boo are making cow noises. Congratulations. It’s a shame you don’t voice your displeasure by saying “hee-haw”. Because you are a bunch of jackasses.
Baseball players, like most other people, are just trying to do their jobs. They don’t want to fail any more than you want to see them fail. What if other professions in this country were subject to the viewing of the stereotypical idiot sports fan?
DOCTOR: Ma’am, your husband suffered multiple injuries in the car accident this afternoon. He has a cracked sternum, a broken right leg, and several facial lacerations.
WIFE: Oh, dear.
DOCTOR: In addition, there was some internal bleeding that we’ve managed to get under control. Unfortunately, he is currently in a coma and it’s going to be touch and go from here on. I wish I had more I could tell you. I’m very sorry, but we’ll do the best we can for him.
DIPSHIT: Booooooo! Booooooo! I bet a New York doc could have him up and around by now! You suck! We want a surgeon, not a swimming sturgeon! Booooooo! You suck, doc! Fire Chief of Medicine Leeeland!
Sound stupid? One more.
GUY: Here’s your food. Thank you very much.
JENNIFER ANISTON: Okay, thanks. Oh, you forgot my apple pie.
GUY: Oops. I’m sorry. One moment, please.
MORON: Booooooo! Booooooo! Is your job THAT HARD? Booooooo! Who forgets the apple pie? A piece of garbage, that’s who! Booooooo! You’re a disgrace! Fire Shift Supervisor Leeeland!
It is stupid.
Brandon Inge: Parts of 12 seasons in Detroit. 140 Tiger home runs. 589 Tiger RBI. Switched positions multiple times to make room for better players (sometimes kicking and screaming, granted). Gold Glove caliber defense at 3B for around 8 years. Played hurt constantly. Devoted his time to considerable charity work in Detroit. Wanted to play here forever.
Jose Valverde: 3 years in Detroit. 110 saves. 49/49 in saves in 2011. Master showman. Great teammate. Another tireless Detroit charity participant.
Ryan Raburn: Parts of 7 years in Detroit. 54 home runs. Never complained despite being moved all over the diamond for multiple reasons. Funny hillbilly accent.
As soon as these three struggled, BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Personally, I was never much of an Inge fan. I was a fan of Valverde and Raburn, though. All struggled but I don’t think any of them are through with baseball. They will have something to offer other teams now. And as we saw with Inge in Oakland, it could very well come back to bite Tiger fans in the ass. It’s amazing what can happen when a player's fanbase supports them. Who knows? Ryan Raburn could hit 30 homers in 2013 for the Astros or something. I’d laugh my ass off. And I’d be cheering him all the way.
There are better ways to voice displeasure with your team. Quit going to games. Stop giving the team your money. Start a blog where you say “fuck” constantly. (Just don’t use the official team logo in your new logo. They apparently frown on that.) Booing is just the dumbest thing possible in my eyes. If a player really sucks that bad, the team will eventually do something about it. Unless his name is Don Kelly, of course.
Look. It isn’t 2003. That was a team worth booing, I guess. The Tigers of today are World Series contenders. Not every player is going to be Miguel Cabrera, though. Don’t be the Philly fan that boos every single play. Don’t be the Boston fan that boos mainly the black players. And don’t be the Tampa fan that boos because their grandkids don’t call enough. You have a great team. Be better than that.
Maybe you disagree. That’s okay, it’s a free country. Boo all you want.
You may sound like cows, but you act like sheep.
Stop doing the wave. It’s fucking stupid and makes me want to stab you repeatedly. Thanks a bunch.